Happy Christmas

NATURE CALLS

Charly was so hungry as he flew across the sky. It had been a long day and he was starving. There was nothing to eat, it was early in January and the ground was barren. Charly looked around towards the barn where his darling owlets were waiting patiently for him to bring them something to eat. Suddenly he saw smoke circling its way to the sky above the barn. Quick as a flash he turned round and flies to his children. As he gets closer he sees the farmer running out of the farm towards the burning barn, mobile phone pressed to his ear.

“I need fire men, I need a fire engine immediately, Willow Farm in Devon”.

A moment later there was a roar and the barn collapsed in pieces. “Oh No!” Thought Charly, “My little ones ! What will become of them?” Quickly he looked around to see whether there was any other animal to help him. He knows the farmer would try and get help the best he can. But that might be too late.

In the grass he sees movement. He looks directly at the ground using all his hunting skills. He sees ears. He sees long ears. It’s a rabbit. He swoops down landing with a jolt. The rabbit jumps back and tries hopping back for cover towards the burning barn.

“Wait!” Charly shouted in a rush. “I’m not going to eat you.”

The rabbit’s shock turns to surprise.

“You’re not going to eat me! What are you going to do with me? You owls have eaten nearly every member of my family.”

“I promise if you help me I will never eat your family again!” screeched Charly. “My owlets, they’re in the barn! Will you please help me! You must know what it’s like to lose a family member.”

“You should have thought of that before you ate my family!” Said the rabbit angrily.

After five minutes of arguing turning to persuasion, the rabbit agreed to offer his services making Charly promise on his life never to eat another rabbit until he moved out of the barn. Even then rabbit wasn’t completely happy.   By which time the fire engine had arrived.

“I could burrow under the barn and get in that way. After that you’re on your own mate.” Said rabbit.

Rabbit starts to dig frantically, meanwhile, Charly is looking desperately around for something to do, heaves a sigh of relief when he sees the men in orange coats putting out the fire. The farmer indicates to the firemen that there is a family of barn owls inside and to be careful. Charly is reassured that the babies will be safe.

Charly waits till the barn is clear of men before flying back to his hungry family with a furry present in his beak.

The End

The Worst Day

Scene One

Set in Henry’s car on his hands free phone driving along the M1

(MUSIC THE POWER OF LOVE BY CELINE DION)

HENRY:          (IN A DRUNK VOICE SINGING LOUDLY AND VERY OUT OF TUNE) Cause you are my lady and I am your man. Whenever you reach for me I do all that I can…….

(SOUND OF MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
Hello gorgeous! I’m on the M1. I’m heading to your home……..(PAUSE)

HENRY:           Yes I am drunk! I know it’s illegal but I don’t care. Oh dear! I can’t see anything!

(RADIO SONG CHANGES TO SALLY TRAVEL)

RADIO ANNOUNCER:            It’s getting a bit slow on the M1 due to the fog and the poor weather. If you’re driving, visibility is down to a minimum. People are saying you can’t even see the car in front of you. It’s easing up again on the M2.

(RADIO RETURNS TO HEAVY METAL SONG)

HENRY:           (SHOUTING OVER THE MUSIC. SOUND OF HENRY PLAYING THE AIR DRUMS ON THE STEERING WHEEL TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC. A ‘BANG’ IS HEARD AS HE HITS HIS HEAD ON THE STEERING WHEEL) Ow! ….

HENRY:           It’s not that bad really. Not as bad as it sounds. I can see perfectly…I’d better go. Won’t be long. See you in a minute love…

RADIO ANNOUNCER:            The fog is thickening on the M1. It’s getting worse. People are starting to get off. There is a wind coming up making it dangerous to drive.

HENRY:           (TALKING TO THE RADIO) You don’t know a thing about what is         going on. You’re not in it.

RADIO ANNOUNCER:            The M3 is getting worse. People are coming off the M1. So much confusion. If you are on the M1 my advice would be to stay where you are. The weather is getting so bad you can’t see in front of your eyes.

HENRY:           Sally Traffic you’ve got it all wrong. I’ll tell you straight.

(SOUND OF MOBILE PHONE KEY PAD BLEEPING AND THEN RINGING OUT)

HENRY:           I’m on the M1 and I think you’re making it sound worse than it is.

PAUSE…..MUFFLED SOUND IN THE BACKGROUND

HENRY:           Yeah put me on. I know what’s going on. Listen to Henry.

RADIO PRESENTER:  I think we’ve got a caller on the line who is stuck on the M1 now.

(HENRY’S VOICE COMES OVER THE RADIO)

HENRY:           I’m Henry White. On the M1 I don’t know what Sally is talking about. I can see perfectly alright. Although a bit blurred!

(HENRY LAUGHS AT HIS OWN JOKE)

Radio              so tell me Henry how fast are you going

Henry                         I going lovely fast (Henry laugh at his own drunken joke) I can’t see anything wrong with the M1. I don’t know what you’re talking about… really

RADIO PRESENTER: Are you slowing down, how fast are you going?

Henry             Not going as fast as I’d like to go…

(HENRY SINGING)… “I can see clearly now the rain has gone….”

RADIO PRESENTER: Thank you very much for your comments. It was really very helpful. I think the next song has to be The Hot House Flowers and “I Can See Clearly Now.”

(SONG STARTS TO PLAY)

Henry             What did I say?

(Pause)

Henry             Yes I’m drunk

HENRY:           Wait a moment. There’s a man waving to me, I’ll wave back. It would be rude not to

(SOUND OF ENGINE REVVING AND HORNS BLARING)

(BANG! BUMP! CRASH!)

SCENE 2

MRS WHITE:              I wonder where Henry is eating tonight. I’ll give him a ring

(SOUND OF MOBILE PHONE RINGING)

(DOOR BELL RINGS)

Mr White        That must be Henry, I’ll get it.

(Sound of him opening the door)

Policeman      Sorry to disturb you, may I come in?

Mr white        Yes, has something happened?

(Sound of door closing)

Mr white        In here

Policeman      Sorry to interrupt your meal Madam.

Mrs White      Oh it’s OK, but has something happened? Have we done anything wrong?

Policeman      No, no, no, I’ve got some bad news. I think we’d better sit down, maybe in your sitting room.

Mrs White      Yes of course, this way.

(Sound of door opening, footsteps and people sitting down)

Policeman      I am dreadfully sorry. Your son, Henry has been in an accident. He’s had a car crash and is injured but he’s still with us. It’s best if you could come quickly. He’s in the Leamington Hospital.

(Sound of front door opening and shutting, followed by car door noises and the car roaring off)

Scene 3
(In the Hospital room. Henry is yawning and stretching)

Mrs White      Henry, we’re here, thank God your alive!

Mr White        Henry, are you alright?

Henry             (Bewildered has just woken up) Mum, Dad? What Happened? My head hurts like Hell.

Mr White        You’ve had a car accident. No wonder! The police just came to tell us. They said you hit you head on the steering wheel and bruised your skull. Hopefully you can come home tomorrow. You silly boy.

Mrs White      As I’m sure you will be, my baby

Henry             Mum…

(There is a knock at the door)

Doctor Jake    I’m Doctor Jake, may I come in?

Mrs White      Yes, of course.

(Sound of footsteps as the doctor enters the room)

Doctor Jake    (Sound of him checking his paperwork) Mr and Mrs White I presume?

Mrs White      Yes

Doctor Jake    How is Henry now? How’s the head? Does it hurt and how bad is it? 1 is good and 10 is unbearable.

Henry             Err….5?

Doctor Jake    Good, is there any other pain?

Henry             No, I don’t think so

Doctor Jake    Excellent. My magic is working. You’ll be able to leave tomorrow providing I find you bright in the morning. If there is anything you need just let me know (Pause) One wish, anything you like, it’s yours.

Mr White        What

Doctor Jake    You hear me, one wish between the 3 of you.

Mr White        Doctor Jake, can I have a word with you alone?

(Sound of the door opening and closing)

It’s about the wish. What did you mean? Is it a joke? Are you mad? This is not the time for jokes!!!

Doctor Jake    No joke, I’ve given you one wish for your family.

Mr White        Ok prove it! Give my son, Henry a new games console, with one of his favourite games. It’ll usually be a fighting game. That should take his mind off things for a while at least.

Doctor Jake    I wouldn’t use it so quickly. See you later.

(Sound of door opening and closing as Mr White re-enters the room and footsteps as Doctor Jake walks away)

Scene 4

In Henry’s hospital room

Mrs white       So, what would you like to wish for? I know what you should wish for.

Henry             I want to wish to be good looking and have all the girls running after me

Mrs White      No more money trouble, so I can buy a car of my own, that’s what I would wish for.

Mr White        This guy’s an idiot to think we need anything from him. When I need a F..ing miracle….       

 

(A moment of silence)

 

Henry                         Wow, Dad?

Mrs White      Love, are you alright?

Mr White        Do you always think of yourself? What about me? Did my Dad get to live? He can’t come back to life and I might be going the same way….. I’ve got Cancer. (Crying) So don’t you think I deserve the wish? If there was such a thing as wishes coming true that is! But there isn’t because if there was, my Dad would still be alive.

Mrs White      (Interrupts) I didn’t know! Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you trust me? I’m supposed to be your wife! You should have the wish.
Mr White        But I don’t believe in this kind of stuff.

Mrs White      Well, if you don’t want the wish, I’ll have it! I want to get pregnant again.

Mr White        I thought the wish was meant for our son Henry anyway, he’s the one lying in hosital! Of course, I would like to live but it didn’t work for my Dad so why should it work for me?

Mrs White      You can’t compare it to your dad, it was different then and we’ve got this wish, which you could use if you weren’t so proud, but you don’t want to.

Henry             Well, I only want to be good looking and maybe have a new car.

Mrs White      No, you don’t need it. Anyway, you were drink driving. I know you have a headache but that’s your own stupid fault.

Henry             Some sympathy I get! When you first came in the room, you were so sympathetic and now look at you both. You’re fighting over a wish, which was supposed to be given to me in the first place.

Mr White        Actually, I think it was given to us as a family and I’m the head of this household.

Mrs White      (Interrupting) Oh yeah?! I remember you saying just a moment ago that you didn’t believe in the wish at all but now listen to yourself! Did you actually think that Doctor Jake would give you that wish when you doubted him the first time in the corridor? I heard you. I wouldn’t give a wish to you even if you didn’t have cancer!

(There is a silence)

Mr White        If you feel like that, I don’t want to be married to you anymore. I’m leaving you now. I’m going home to pack and then I’m going to France to meet up with Stephanie!

Mrs White      OK, fine, be like that, see if I care! I’ve still got Henry here.

(Sound of someone knocking on the door)

(Footsteps and door opening and closing as Doctor Jake enters)

Dr Jake           (Speaking to Henry) How’s your head?

(Speaking to everyone) I just thought I’d come and check on you all as I heard shouting from the corridor.

Mr White        I was just leaving (Sound of door opening and closing as he leaves)

Henry             Doctor? When you said about the wish, what were your, I mean, were there any conditions?

Dr Jake           Yes, there are, didn’t I explain them to you?

Maybe I could have a word with Henry alone for a little while please, Mrs White?

Mrs White      Of course. It’s to do with Henry’s head is it?

Dr Jake           Of course.

(Sound of door opening and closing as she leaves)

 

Dr Jake           Henry, I’m telling you this about the wish and I want you to keep it to yourself. I know your Father is quite sceptical and I suspect he’s very poorly. Your Mum wants someone to love and cherish and she would like to have another baby sometime and you want a girl to like you but I’m afraid you can only have one wish and because you were the one who was brought in to Hospital, you get to decide but if it’s a selfish act then the wish will completely disappear.

Henry             (Talking to himself) I would love this girl to like me and I would hope that both my parents will learn to get on. My Mum would love a little baby and so would I but I would like my Dad to be the Father and so maybe when he’s well, we could have that.

I wish………………………………….……I never had got drunk, then I would not have had the car crash

Dr Jake           As you wish